Carnival

When I tried to cry, the tears would not come

Was it because I was faking or not caring enough?

When I tried to shout, the sound was feeble

Was it because I did not put enough effort into it?

When I stepped out, I was cold and sad

Was it because I spent all day sheltering myself?

When I saw the news of people dying on TV, I turned it off

Was it because I could not handle the truth?

Who am I?

Do I have a consciousness?

Where is it?

How could I know?

Am I a human or just artificial intelligence?

How could I tell?

Could I see myself or just others?

Are these futile questions with no answers?

When I turn and look behind me

Do I see the past or just a colorless present?

When I look forward to a bleak future

Should I get depressed or attempt to live in the present?

As I hear the time tick by

As I see the earth rotate without meaning

As I see people check out and check in

I wonder if the carnival is worth the price, I paid for it