Optimizing hall passes in the Senate

The leader of the Senate has a tough mathematical problem. Luckily, he is experienced and trained in the theory of probabilities. He can impute probabilities of victories in senate races and optimally issue what he calls, “hall passes.” It may already be obvious to him that he could only give a maximum of 3 hall passes and they have to be distributed in such a way that his chance of maintaining his status after the election is maximized.

It is a mathematical optimization problem. Issue the first pass to the extreme North-East where the senator with such integrity has already staked out a position. There is a senator out West in the Centennial State who is desperate for an available hall pass. Nearby in the Grand Canyon State, things don’t look much better and that may require spending the last hall pass. That’s all that the leader can afford and he will likely make these decisions soon. He works for the country, party, and himself without even taking a break. The senators who were lucky enough to receive the passes will show high integrity and compassion and argue that this close to the election, it is not fair to nominate a Supreme Court judge.

The strict constitutionalists, who have been missing for a while, have risen again. What they said a few years ago may have been unconstitutional, they argue. A constant perusal of the pocket constitution for many years have reminded them what is right. It takes a patriot to do the right thing, it takes bigger men to do what is convenient. The latter requires flexibility, the ability to interpret the constitution based on the case presented, and do what’s right for the party and themselves.

We should feel lucky that our leaders are great mathematicians who can optimize and maximize what they believe is rightfully theirs.